The Bailouts to Come
January 12th, 2009
Remember all those skeptics who said that if we bail out the auto industry then all industries that suffered in this economy will come asking for money? Well….they were right. Larry Flynt and Joe Harris, seasoned pornographers, are asking Congress for $5 billion to bail out the porn industry. This is so ridiculous, I don’t even need to go into why. But I thought it would be fun to speculate what other solution we might see proposed by industries in the coming months.
- The Halo bailout: Lost jobs = less household money = less people who can afford to go to college = less people playing Halo
- The prostitution bailout: I’m sure hooking isn’t going as well as it used to.
- The cell phone company bailout: They’re going to find some way to take our money. Let’s just give it to them and avoid the dance.
- The illegal immigrant worker bailout: When companies fold, their illegal workers get laid off. What are they supposed to do? Go back to their own country? Is that what it has come to?
- The Republican bailout: They’re going to need all the help they can get in the coming years.
Anyone have any more?
I also hear Bernie Madoff wants a personal bailout for all his indiscretions.
Speaking of pardons, have you hears George W. Bush actually rescinded a pardon? How can that happen! It seems it is now legal to forgive and then unforgive. Guess that sums up my feelings on this 750 Billion dollar bailout; We all thought it was what the economy needed until it turns out our government is wasting 350 billion of it on junk.
Anyone think the pork will stop on 1/20, or are we in for eight more years of the same?
By the way, I just can’t get over this terrible statistic. If you add up all the thefts, stolen property, and financial crimes that took place over the last two years in this country, it still wont total the amount of money Madoff stole. That is just unfathomable.
Yehuda Farkas
Don’t forget the drug dealer bailout: With the economy the way it is, many people will simply be forced to forgo some of their worst habits, leaving the drug dealers empty-handed.
Web 2.0 bailout: “Hey, we’ve discovered that missing revenue stream!”
Ely, I am curious to hear your thoughts on Madoff.
Just read a fascinating article on mutual funds and hegde funds. Are all these investments just one big sham?
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1056666.html